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October 26th, 2005

11:34 pm - Because I don't update enough, here's another one
Ever feel like your whole world is slowly being flipped upsidown? Well at the moment it feels like it's sideways and spinning with a window at each wall and all I want to do is leave the room, but I don't know which window to fall through or if it's really so bad in the room smack dab at the apex of the four windows. This is a vague reference to higher power and my lifestyle. Sorry to be vague but I gotta get moving:

organize music!

It's too long to fit under Music so currently my music is:
Guided by Voices - Everybody Think I'm a Raincloud When I'm not Looking
Current Mood: tiredtired

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10:48 pm - I'm impressed with myself so bare with me
So yesterday was officially my productive day. I had classes from ten until three, followed by a short practice session - practice rooms have been down for a week so I was a little rusty - worked on theory while listening to the greatest punk cover mix ever, still in the practice room of course, and then had a half-hour lesson. Then, I proceeded to finish my theory, make a pizza, go to drama rehearsal, and end the night by cleaning my room and putting everything away - this included all the crap that I never actually put away when I moved in and a laundry bin and a half of clothing. Then I looked over the 8 songs I have to learn for a quintet performance on sunday, lines to be memorized by tomorow, a performance piece that I'll be doing for both the scholarship ceremony on the third as well as recital later in Nov.

So, you know that part of School of Rock where Jack Black is teaching the kids Rock History? Tara and I had a little music session where she enlightened me as to some of the best albums of all time and we created our top 10 albums list as follows:
Keep in mind that we had to stick to bands that the both of us know, and my selection is limited - hence tonights enlightenment session - as well as the fact that we're judging based on individual music and album style as a whole
10 - More Beer by Fear (not necessarily # 10 but we couldn't think and it's a good album)
9 - Liscense to Ill by Beastie Boys
8 - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness by The Smashing Pumpkins
7 - American Idiot by Green Day
6 - White Album by The Beatles
5 - Californication by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
4 - Garage Days by Metallica
3 - Darkside of the Moon by Pink Floyd
2 - Swiss Movement by Les McCann and Eddie Harris
1 - Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles

If you disagree with any of the above, feel free to yell and scream at me and leave me what you think belongs on the list. It is indeed up for revision.
Current Mood: complacent"Chill"
Current Music: Tori Amos - Precious Things

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October 17th, 2005

09:13 pm - ka-pow
I guess old habbits do really die hard. I've ben putting off doing this response paper since 1 this afternoon.
Current Mood: recumbentunmotivated
Current Music: RHCP - Coffee Shop

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October 9th, 2005

07:03 pm - Ramen roasting on a open grill
We've had to don our winter coats and snow sightings have begun here at Fergus Falls. Walking with little snowy/icy flakes hitting me in the face while warm in my jacket felt amazing. Nature's cool like that - so calm and peacful even when it's ravaging the country. No matter what it's doing, there seems to be some sort of purpose or lesson to teach.

Flipside is, snow means cold. Not just cold, but enough cold that it's gonna last for a long time and not get warm. I'll get to slide down the hill on my way to class in the morning though. Sure I'll fall down going up the other side of the miniture canyon before reaching the building, but that's the price you pay.

Guess how many movies I watched this weekend. Come on. Guess. If you win, I'll give you a cookie.

If you win and remind me the next time I chance to see you, I will give you a cookie.
Current Mood: sillyspastic
Current Music: Frou Frou - Let go

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August 30th, 2005

04:03 pm - Girls to do the dishes.
I miss civilization.

I need to change my bio.

I found a frisbee on our nature walk today for bio, and suddenly it was better.

Girls. All I really want it girls, and in the morning in it's girls, cause in the eavening it's girls. Thank you Foo Fighters for you sexist, amazing lyrics which took many minutes of hard work.

Current Mood: fullfull
Current Music: Girls - Foo Fighters

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August 29th, 2005

03:00 pm - Sonic Boom!
HI EVERYONE! Long time no typie huh? Week of college under my belt and the only way to put it is fucked up. I've been meeting lots of people, but me being the little boy I am I haven't really met that many. I'm taking choir and I made it into the ensemble, but I have too many credits so I won't be getting any credit for the ensemble.
It feels like I've been up here forever. I've had a couple good days, a couple bad ones, a really horrible one, and some mixed days. Classes look far too easy and there isn't enough challenge to my english class. No more real discussions. Everyone here listens to country, although many other things too. However, I have yet to find someone who listens to ska or Red Hot Chili Peppers. *tear* No onw plays video games or magic. Everyone likes sports and half the kids sit and talk with eachother because they know eachother from fergus falls high school. The other half are drunken jocks. I happened to join the drunk fest this last weekend and had some fun and experienced some new things. Bad choice? Probably. It's time to get to studying and practicing otherwise what's the point of me being here right?

Somehow I'm getting along though. It's kinda hypocritical of me but I've been hiding my bi side for awhile, but I can't keep that up for long. Seems like lots of people have poor opinions of the gay populace. Can't hide it foreer though right?

My internet at my apartment sucks ass and doesn't connect well at all, so that's why I haven't been on much and that's why here's the goings on in my life for the last week and a half in one consice and confusing journal. I miss everyone and will be home next fri/sat if ya'll wanna chill. I love you guys!

always and forever,
Current Mood: crazyall in a tizy
Current Music: RHCP - Get On Top

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July 23rd, 2005

05:13 am - E.R. The hotpants!
So now that I'm over my rut I just miss having a significant other. Or maybe making out. Or maybe even both! The pidgeon does not quite understand what his target is doing, but he poops on him nonetheless. What happens when the neighboring pidgeon wishes to share the same roost or the same target? His friend the falcon swoops from the rafters and solves the problem...and then there was one...plus a falcon...pssibly an osprey.

It is definitely 5 am and I am not yet among the dreaming souls. How I wish I could swim among the oceans of those who enjoy the company of apple pie and toppling graces. Rather, I wish I was one of them. Not only among them but a full fledged acrobatic artist. What a world that would be my fine fledgling friends. What a world.
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
Current Music: RHCP - Get on Top

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July 21st, 2005

05:09 pm - Oy, still?
I mowed again, but this time I didn't have any epiphanies. I've become so accustomed to mowing the lawn and seing things in a new light and finishing my day with a better outlook. It's a shame the exact opposite happened. Although, I did realize that weeds grow really fucking fast. Don't underestimate the "grows like a weed" phrase. I swear I could have watched some of the weeds get bigger. I mowed last week wed. I believe and some of the weeds were just above my belly button height. Like, wow.

Current Mood: crappycrappy
Current Music: System of a Down - Violent Pornography

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July 20th, 2005

04:03 pm - So that's what revomited puke looks like
So this'll be a semi-sad/pathetic entry but it's LJ right? So whatevs...

I finished reading harry potter last night at 2 or so in the AM and found myself feeling rather depressed. I laughed, smiled, almost cried, and became truly alarmed all at different points while readiing. Upon finishing the book I could not wait until the seventh showed it's head. The problem is that I was left with some weird sick feeling in my stomach. Empathy? Femininity? Weird fucked-upness? No clue, but I also know that I have a tendency to obsess over things such as books, video games, and tv series. When I do this, I completely forget about the outside world and grant myself hermitude until I realize there is another world out there. However, the end of a series, video game, etc bring my great sadness because in them I'm able to live another life. A life full of significant others, adventure, all that jazz. I guess I just become too enthralled in books and when it's over I regret that my own life falls far short of the book I have just read (not gonna lie...jealous of Harry and she-who-must-not-be-named-because-it-will-ruin-everything-for-everyone-else-and-I-would-like-to-add-that-I-will-be-very-disappointed-if-they-don't-hook-up-in-the-end-because-they-are-fucking-perfect-for-eachother). I guess I just have to go out there and do something right? Stop being a pussy and grow some balls, right? Well now that it's been settled and I'm listening to music and thinking about how much of an idiot I am I'll post this gushy lj entry anyways. Thank you!

For anyone I've ever had the "what happens when you die" conversation with...the thought of eternity still freaks me the fuck out.
Current Mood: coldicky
Current Music: RHCP - Can't Stop

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July 1st, 2005

08:20 pm - I like the universe, but she messes with my words
I think I want to join the peace corps. I realized, while mowing my lawn, that I just love helping people. My job is amazing because I get to help someone and watch them benefit and know the joy they receive. Just making someone's day better makes me feel like I have purpose in life. What better than that specifically being my job and going somewhere where they truly need help? I wouldn't have to deal with all the politics of a buisness type job and everyone I'd work with is passionate about what they're doing. The thought is absolutely amazing. Doing that for the rest of my life would probably make me happy. Downside is I would like someone to be there with me. I'm sure I'd meet amazing people but if I had one person, significant other or just close friend, everything would be so much easier to transition and I'd get into things much better. It would be amazing, that's the only way to describe it. I've got another month and a half to decide what I'm going to do with my life. I wish I could keep working at my job, but the trainer will come back and I'll have to leave. So much of my life I've been told that I have to go to college and that's how I'll succeed and I feel like a failure if I don't. Yet, I'm supportive of other people not doing it if that's what they're passionate about. I just wish I had a year to try things out and determine what I really want to do without blowing it along the way. College can wait, but so could peace corps or anything else. I'm finally opening my eyes to the world and seeing what I can do, but I'm out of time to decide.

This is why I love mowing my lawn.

"But I just need to say goodbye
To all the metaphors and lies
That have taken me years to come up with."

Yes they're lryics. Yes the fit my life perfectly. No, you only have to read them if you really want to.Collapse )
Current Mood: fullslightly elated
Current Music: MCS - Resolution

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